sudah hampir satu tahun. it's time to get over this; it's time to loosen up and fully face the fact that you and him will never be together.
yes, your feelings do fade -- but it's still there.
and it still hurts looking at him being with her; looking at her with a smile on his face and an emotion that you desire so much.
you know deep down that this is no good -- even if you DO end up being together with him, it's going to be a disaster and he will likely end up hating you and wishing he'd never got together with you.
but he's still the person you thought of first when you want to go see a movie; when you find a really good book or a movie or an issue; you can't seem to replace him.
it's almost a year. your time is almost up -- your time in uni is running out and soon you will not be able to see him everyday. feelings will fade; and soon he'll find another person to replace you, but you'll not be able to find one to replace him because apparently your feelings don't fade like his.
you are facing your last days with him; last, good days when you are almost sure that you are the only person who gets what is hopefully a special place in his heart.
what should you do? you really want to make the best out of these days, yet you are not sure how to, because he does not feel like these days are the last good days that he will get to spend with you -- because you are probably not that 'exclusive' and 'special' to him.
you know exactly that he does not feel the same way as you, yet you keep your hopes up that he will have 'a change of heart' one day; effortlessly; you don't even do anything to bring that change of heart closer to truth.
your friend says that you could do better than this; that you will find someone who will be nice to you and love you without you needing to do so much things and efforts in making him love you. and that someday love will be easy and effortless; it will be a natural thing that happens between you and that person. and that love is supposed to be that way; all your life you just have not seen the real deal about it.
and i really hope it is true.
