hello, it's been a while.
today i'm going to talk about how my 20s feels like, so far.
being 22 used to be something 'unimaginable' by my younger self, as i could only see a 22-year-old girl as someone who's mature, clear-thinking, calm and collected -- much unlike myself as a teenager. but when i turn 22, i looked back at my teenage years and i saw a much more childish person than what (i think) i am right now. is it possible that i, too, have matured?
what's clearer than my status of 'maturation' is the fact that i have encountered much more problems in my life than ever before.
in my recollection, i think i've never had any problems that are as big as my problems are, right now. i've never had any troubles with my school mates, no troubles with deciding about my future like what school to go to next, and no troubles at all with containing my own emotions. my days used to be stable, predictable, and manageable.
today, it's like everyday there are new disappointments for me to 'enjoy'.
i know that this might be 'the maturing materials' that all humans should endure at one point of their lives. i know that i have to endure this, so that i can be the
'proper, functioning adult of the 21st century' and then i can find my
place in the world because i know who i am. but still, sometimes these continuous let-down make me tired of being an adult and then i'll feel like i want to turn back time so that i can be a kid again; safe in her haven of not knowing what the real world feels like. there's truly a bliss in not knowing things.
today, i'm still trying to take my 'daily dose of disappointments' with a grain of salt.
